Why date yourself anyway?
Someone asked me why I call it “dating myself” when it’s basic things we may already do alone.
That is such an awesome question because it had me pondering.
I always have found joy & had a lot of excitement for the little things and have been super grateful for a lot that others may not think are “so exciting”. I started to ask myself, is it coming from a place of lack, am I putting minor things on a pedestal?
But being grateful is what brings in more, and romanticizing the little things has made my life a lot more fulfilling.
By calling it “solo dating”, I first sat and wrote a list of dates I’d love to do with someone, and then started to do them alone. This isn’t a “singles-only” thing, you can use these dates with friends, or a significant other. Also, if you are prone to losing yourself in relationships, I think that it is awesome to continue dating yourself, as we cannot expect from others what we do not do for ourselves.
This process has helped me gain confidence, naturally learn what I like and don’t like, and has brought me out of my comfort zone. When we love our time alone that truly sets the standard for what we allow elsewhere. I read the book The Four Agreements, and this quote HIT home:
“In your whole life, nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself.”
How much you abuse yourself is how much you allow others to abuse you. When you love yourself, you will only tolerate that or better.
At first, I started to plan my dates by “love language”, but over time I have crafted a list of dates by MOOD, and what I was feeling at the moment, and I am very excited to share it with you!
Do you feel like you wanna just stay in? Perfect!
– snack & game night (I ordered candy from Australia to try!)
– candle making
– mocktail & bath
– bracelet making
– bake a new dessert
– sip & paint
– write a love letter or video to yourself to watch in a year
– use my journal prompts in my transformation journal to craft your dream life & make a new vision board
– take an online craft class through Michael’s
Wanna be adventurous? I got you!
– visit your college town & explore your old favorite places
– window shop
– do a staycation!
– play basketball or tennis at a local park
– go to a bounce house!
– find an anger room to smash plates & release some pent-up emotions
– craft a scavenger hunt and go explore
– go to the driving range
– make a list of random acts of kindness to do for others (leave kind post-it notes, deliver flowers or treats to someone you love, pay it forward at the drive-through, compliment a stranger)
– go rock climbing
– find an arcade to play games, win prizes & test the photo booth
– go to a theme park!
– See what local events are happening
– Try a pottery class
Wanna be classy and feminine? Let’s go, girl!
– try afternoon tea (something I’ve wanted to do!)
– get dessert at a fancy restaurant
– pick fruit, flowers, or vegetables
– take a cooking class
– visit a museum (many are free)
– go on a wine tasting
– attend a Broadway show or local live music
– Hit a jazz bar
– take a charcuterie or bouquet-making class
– get your nails done
(no added sugar snack box for the drive in movie)
Wanna relax? I got you! These are also perfect during your luteal & menstrual phases too!
– drive-in movie, or a movie theater
– go to a local float tank
– get a massage
– get a facial
– go for a nice walk in nature
– take a yoga class
– go explore a cool bookstore
– watch your favorite TV show or movie in a fort
– go to a nice cafe and read your favorite book
– connect to your inner child & do something you used to love as a kid
If you find yourself trying any of these dates, please share them with me as I would love to see them! If you have any great ideas for me to try, please share them.
Remember, every relationship in your life reflects your relationship to self. It is important to pour from a full cup. & please join me on my social media pages to see more solo date ideas!
xoxo,
Ber